Truth only matters if it is shared. When we keep the good stuff to ourselves, loneliness appears.

We were never meant to walk in this world alone, but we do until we don’t, and then we do again.

One-on-one therapy is about one thing - private matters. Those matters matter most. What happens deep inside you is subtle, complex, and continually shifting. Privacy and personal states show up variably. Alan Westin identified four privacy states in his fantastic book “Privacy and Freedom,” including solitude, anonymity, reserve, and intimacy. That’s a continuum worth exploring.

Put briefly:

• Solitude is a choice, a well-informed decision to be alone. It is a deep state of privacy motivated by a need for separation or disengagement from others. In solitude, people find safety and regain a sense of freedom.

• Anonymity is the experience of being around others but remaining unnoticed, unknown, and unrecognized. In moderation, anonymity is refreshing and kindles observational keenness. Too much of it, insecurities along with unwanted emotional truths awaken.

• Reserve is a strategy best used when social outcomes are uncertain. Mindfully revealing only pieces of who we are, what we think, and how we feel keeps options open. By remaining reserved and not drawing attention to yourself, you can slip away, act interested, or daydream to your heart’s delight at any time.

• Intimacy is the ultimate prize for being appropriately vulnerable around people you trust with your most private affairs. A profound sense that you matter is conveyed and believed when intimately connected. Consequently, intimacy is worth fighting for!

How do you measure up along this spectrum of private matters?

Your sense of self is partly subjective, partly circumstantial, the sum of a complicated equation balancing attachment history, reflective experiences, learning opportunities, birth order, life predicaments, identity challenges, feedback, and occurrences of fortune and misfortune. Therefore, The shaping of self vastly depends on those closest to you and how they respond during times of need. You want significant others in your life to “get you.” You want them to promote your goals, aspirations, and dreams, not inhibit or distract you from your pursuit. You want them to remind you that you matter, not leave you with self-doubt, feeling isolated and misunderstood, or guessing.

When relational situations go off-track, you feel most vulnerable and experience significant confusion and emotional darkness. When interactions leave you feeling rejected, excluded, or devalued, you frequently end up in the same place – alone, dazed, and confused. During such times, you must ask, “What’s wrong with me?” When the answer is unbecoming, and the feeling of aloneness takes over, the end state is loneliness.

Based on the principles of Relationship Intelligence (r.IQ), a treatment model created by Dr. Zierk designed to turn conflict into connection, loneliness is a state of mind constructed by past experiences of neglect, being left out, put down, overlooked, or otherwise misunderstood and mistreated. The presence of a corrective person-to-person experience sways the opportunity to bounce back from loneliness. The twist associated with this vital process is you must be willing to take chances. Further, when relational risks are taken, things can go from bad to worse before they get better. The key to moving forward is creating options and being willing to be vulnerable, honest, accurate, and access your authentic self while being held accountable. Dr. Zierk refers to this as learning the power of Valuable Selfhood.

Dr. Zierk’s intervention model is called Relationship Intelligence (r.IQ) and involves integrating interpersonal neurobiology and relational-cultural theory against the landscape of attachment theory while being grounded in cognitive-behavioral psychology. The result is a profoundly personal experience that promotes the opportunity for the person to get out from behind their learning history, intimately understand their private experience, challenge and revise their mental maps of themselves, their world, and their future, and become better prepared to tackle challenging situations so to experience the sparkle that comes with feeling alive and in charge.  

In a nutshell, the experience of being in control of your life rather than your life controlling you is the primal shift we are devoted to helping you achieve.   Doing so allows you to learn how to “turn conflict into connection,” which makes loneliness disappear. Sounds impressive, right?

Learn more about Relationship Intelligence by visiting our website.

Press the button below to learn more about how your mind works as described in Dr. Zierk’s book, Mind Rules: Who’s in Control, You or Your Mind?

Trust is the key to intimacy. Without trust, the opportunity for closeness, connection, and communication is lost and not soon found.

The most significant and intimate relationship in our life occurs with someone we marry or to whom we give our heart and soul. There are many opportunities along the lifeline of this vital relationship to apply the principles of Relationship Intelligence (r.IQ) and build, strengthen, nourish, or repair the connection. Doing so will promote and preserve emotional health, bolster interpersonal well-being, and develop meaningful relational longevity.

Helping couples learn how to effectively and efficiently reconnect following moments of disconnection lies at the heart of becoming relationally intelligent. Dr. Zierk’s process focuses on assisting teams to understand the empowering features associated with rebuilding trust, discovering profound truth, reestablishing meaningful commitment, and learning about intimacy's beautiful dimensionality and simplicity. Dr. Zierk refers to this as learning the power of Valuable Partnership.

In some relationships, circumstances or situations make separation and dissolution of the ties unavoidable. Transitioning a relationship from partnership to parting ways is a complex process, especially when children are involved. However, by imbuing the process with constructive and relationally intelligent values and treatment, this often destructive and emotionally damaging experience can instead lead to positive growth and transformation. Dr. Zierk refers to this as learning the power of Valuable Divorce.

Working together, Dr. Zierk’s relationship-focused approach to therapy (Relationship Intelligence: r.IQ, for short) helps life partners learn times of uncertainty and better manage conflict to become refreshingly and more resiliently reconnected - better than ever before. This is done by understanding and implementing the four foundational building blocks – trust, truth, commitment, intimacy, and learning and applying the functional building blocks - balance, perspective, awareness, and adaptability. 

Learn more about Relationship Intelligence by visiting our website. 

Press the button below to learn more about how your mind works as described in Dr. Zierk’s book, Mind Rules: Who’s in Control, You or Your Mind?

Why do I love these people?

Family membership is automatic and cannot be revoked.

Even if we are physically abandoned at birth, the preconscious memory and meaning of that connected experience remain throughout our lives. The degree to which trust, truth, commitment, and intimacy within the family form our early relational experience, shaping how we see ourselves and the world around us. How we experience family life lines our future path with pots of gold and land mines. For better or worse, we are the sum of our family relationships and the connections we have with each other. When family connections are strong, we grow up feeling safe, secure, and significant. We become vulnerable to feeling unloved, shamed, and rejected when links are weak or broken.

As a family member, you become woven into a complex web where the well-being and integrity of the family depend upon the well-being and integrity of each family member. When families stop “working,” the onus is on all family members to work individually and collectively to get it running smoothly again. That a family consists of varying developmental needs, individual wants, distinctive personality traits, and ego-centric perceptions is both a blessing and a curse.

On the one hand, it means each family member contributes a unique set of strengths and competencies to family challenges or crises. On the other hand, it means each family member contributes a fantastic collection of vulnerabilities and bad habits.

Working together, the Relationship Intelligence approach to self + other therapy helps families rediscover their grasp of four building blocks—trust, truth, commitment, and intimacy, in that order—each is uniquely necessary to connect members and strengthen family ties.

Dr. Zierk’s relational theory of therapy and style of intervention works for the following types of family matters:

• Parent-child struggles (children + adolescents)

• Family-of-origin distress

• Multi-generational conflict

• Divorce-related family restructuring

• Trauma-based challenges + ruptures

Learn more about Relationship Intelligence by visiting our website.

Press the button below to learn more about how your mind works as described in Dr. Zierk’s book, Mind Rules: Who’s in Control, You or Your Mind?

Person first, problem second.

This statement reflects how Dr. Zierk thinks about assessments. By doing so, Dr. Zierk’s approach is outcome-oriented and focused on helping the person fully understand their situation while becoming better equipped to adapt to their challenge functionally. Dr. Zierk doesn’t forget the person inside the personality or make the mistake of only looking at the surface; his commitment is to balance depth and breadth. 

Assessment specialty areas include:

Psychological Distress

Psychological Injury + Trauma

Vocational Assessment: Injury or Divorce-Related

Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Learning Disorders (LD)

Traumatic Brain Injury

Dementias - Alzheimer's, Vascular, Lewy Bodies & Frontotemporal

Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI)

Chronic Pain + Unremitting Medical Conditions

Whenever possible, Dr. Zierk sidesteps psychological labels that often accompany assessments and creates barriers when seeking solutions and help. Instead, he partners with clients to provide an unbiased and sound interpretation of the results, assist with treatment planning, and help devise adaptive measures and obtain accommodations in various settings. By definition, people are complex, and when complicated by difficult situations, the assessment process of understanding the “truth” requires patience, persistence, curiosity, and scholarship.

Dr. Zierk provides state-of-the-art, research-supported psychometric testing from ADHD screenings to complete comprehensive psychological and neuropsychological assessments. Dr. Zierk focuses the evaluation process on identifying or confirming diagnostic criteria, informing treatment, determining medication efficacy, supporting client advocacy, and promoting positive outcomes.

Press the button below to learn more about how your mind works as described in Dr. Zierk’s book, Mind Rules: Who’s in Control, You or Your Mind?

Trust and truth go hand in hand.

Forensic psychology is the application of science around questions and issues relating to law and the legal system. The word “forensic” comes from the Latin word “forensis,” meaning “of the forum,” where the law courts of ancient Rome were held. Modern forensics refers to applying scientific principles and practices to the adversary process where scientists with specialized knowledge play a role.

Dr. David Zierk specializes in forensic psychological services in clinical neuropsychology, psychological evaluation secondary to severe and life-altering injurious circumstances, disability-related and divorce-related vocational assessment, and integrated psychological and vocational evaluations.

Types of forensic evaluations include:

Stand Alone Vocational Assessment: Divorce or Personal Injury

Divorce-Related Psychological & Vocational Assessment

Comprehensive Psychological Evaluation

Integrated Neuropsychological Evaluation

Injury-Related Psychological & Vocational Assessment

Parental Responsibilities Evaluation (PRE)

Forensic Work Product Review

Trauma-Focused Evaluation

Chronic Pain Evaluation

Psychological Consultation

Medical Records Review

Venues of expertise include:

Family Law + Domestic Court

Personal Injury

Workers’ Compensation

Long Term Disability

Social Security Disability

Medical Referrals (head injury, dementia, pain, bariatric, psychiatric disorder) 

Press the button below to learn more about how your mind works as described in Dr. Zierk’s book, Mind Rules: Who’s in Control, You or Your Mind?