David W. Zierk, PsyD

Staying ahead by stepping back.

Knowing what to do when nothing obvious is apparent is being savvy, an uncommon word with remarkable power. Being savvy means having options, trusting the best, adapting based on the outcome, and remaining steady.

The word savvy derives from Latin, meaning “to be wise or knowing.” It entails an interplay of perception, understanding, and practical know-how. When combined, savvy manifests cleverness and being steadily thoughtful while keeping others in mind, which outshines all other options.

A savvy life stance tells the world, “Bring it on; I’m ready!”

Unsolvable Problems

In relational psychology, it’s been said that 70% of life’s problems are unsolvable. Yes, you read that correctly. The lion’s share of challenges confronting us keep repeating and don’t go away. They may slip under the covers masquerading as resolutions, agreements, and cognitive slight of hands, inferred by such expressions, “Let’s agree to disagree” or “Whatever!”

Because unsolvable problems recycle, you need to be ready when they reappear. This is where being savvy becomes your trusted friend and closest ally.

Embracing the unsolvability and repeatability of your trials and tribulations is the first step in understanding the philosophy contained within Relationship Intelligence. If problems are unsolvable, it’s time to relax your grip on the ever-popular fix, solve, and repair mentality. In its place is a new mindset focusing on navigating challenges. While being smart is handy, dancing with life’s hardships and navigating the rough waters of life demands learning the craft of being savvy.

This unique and inspiring word, “savvy,” guides you to stay slightly ahead of what’s happening while standing slightly back from the situation. This stance lets you see the big picture while appreciating the details without getting tangled up. Standing slightly back lets you see the whole puzzle, and staying ahead gives you time to understand how the pieces connect.

Remember, in most life situations, you’re not on a clock. You have more time than you think. So, knowing that time is on your side, permit yourself to take time to “get it right” rather than “being right.”

The savvy mentality is captured poignantly in the following expression by Paul Brown.

“When you win, say nothing. When you lose, say less.”

Savvy is not just about modesty; it conveys having earned the distinction not to boast. Even more, the restraint built into the savvy mentality is motivated by doing things that promote the common good. That’s right, advancing in the direction that creates mutual benefit is seen by the savvy person as the most efficient pathway toward peace, justice, and equality. Ambitious? Of course, but achievable.

The expression stated above gracefully conveys a savvy mindset by playing up the importance of being comfortably confident. Quite different from being smug and conceited, the savvy stance projects a sense of control or mastery of a situation without needing to be the smartest person in the room. This stance projects a person in control with little interest in being controlled or seen as controlling. Quiet strength is projected, not asserted. Arguing and debating are replaced by provocative dialogue, supportive feedback, and playful brainstorming. Just to let you know, knowledge is shared, not ordered. Expectations are discussed, not instructed. Pulling replaces pushing. Instead of applying pressure, advocacy is exerted. Understanding takes center stage while “knowing” is assigned a supportive role. Being “relational” is placed at the highest level, to be modeled, not admired.

While analyzing trends is important, starting new fads is essential. Looking backward provides historical reference in practice, but it’s moving forward and exploring the unlikely pathway that may lead to incredible treasure. Stated another way, while examining patterns is useful, finding the moxy to start a new pattern can make all the difference. Saying, “Let’s go!” without knowing where you are heading brings about breakthroughs, breathtaking discoveries, and quantum leaps.

In the language of savvy:

Instead of examining the curve, it’s time to get ahead of it.

Masterminding a savvy attitude involves replacing judgment with a learning mindset. This statement underscores the difference between having a fixed versus growth mindset, as described concisely and helpfully in “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol Dweck, PhD. By leading with “How else can we achieve success?” and “What options are not yet discovered?” confidence at the moment joins an optimistic forecast of what might happen next. Being savvy also substitutes “Why?” with “Why not?” This exchange motivates others to pull together and actively participate. By focusing on learning and what’s possible, amazing things happen. People start sharing hunches, gut reactions, and thoughts that are not fully developed but are worth considering. In essence, people take chances and are applauded for doing so.

Being savvy upgrades problem-solving and its need for “being right” with “getting it right” by making quality connections and working together. At its core, the savvy mind is motivated by mutuality and an unquenchable thirst for collaborative creativity. Remember the phrase, “Two heads are better than one?” There’s wisdom in these words. It speaks volumes about practicing a savvy mindset.

Being savvy invites you to shift your focus from rationality to relationality. Doing so requires rehearsing radical awareness, self-control, emotional regulation, and zealous mutuality. Being savvy requires being clever while maintaining steady thoughtfulness.

Remember, always remember…

It’s about getting it right, not being right.

Summing Up and Moving On

The philosophy of Relationship Intelligence is founded on the principle that we need each other. Without connection, communication fails. Without communication, relationships fail. Without relationships, personal growth and development fail. Do you see how essential connections are and how destructive disconnections can be?

Learn by heart. Your mind is not relational. It is not designed to bring people together. Instead, your mind is self-serving, keeping self-preservation as its top priority. So, this is where your challenge begins. Ask yourself, “Who’s in control—you or your mind?”

Press the button below to learn more about how your mind works as described in Dr. Zierk’s book, Mind Rules: Who’s in Control, You or Your Mind?