David W. Zierk, PsyD

Bounce back, stick to it, and keep pushing forward.

Better known as the core triad, resilience, self-discipline, and tenacity are key to coping with adversity and uncertainty. When practiced, these three adaptive mindsets and capacities help you master self-control and make good decisions despite your surroundings' stress.

Learning to navigate life’s ups and downs, disappointments and discouragements, requires more than tolerating intolerable circumstances. Tolerance makes you vulnerable to becoming a victim. It diminishes your power to be effective, to have agency, and to believe you can control your life rather than your life controlling you. While tolerance is a good start, other ingredients are needed to regain inner balance and motivation to persevere, grasp a sense of purpose, and move forward with aspiration.

Let’s unpack the core triads one by one.

We live in a world of constant change. Beyond the weather, each day, in some way, is different. In addition, your life is full of peaks and valleys. When you face many more valleys than you deserve, perhaps some of your own making, you become prone to experiencing stress, anxiety, and depression. During such hard times, resilience comes in handy.

Resilience - adaptability; pulling yourself up after something has pulled you down.

Resiliency involves two parts, one passive and the other active. Your capacity to withstand, not give up, and stay with the situation without being overwhelmed or bullied is the passive part of resiliency. Put simply, passive resilience means not giving up or giving in to circumstances. The active component of resiliency involves recovery, which means returning to what you define as normal. Returning to “business as usual” is a mindset that reflects your inner sturdiness or character and flexibility. Getting back to your usual self requires the help of those you trust. So, working on your sense of relatedness and seeking comfort from those who predictably support you is critical to bouncing back. Also, it is vital to learn how to listen to your emotions, even when they’re strong, and come out of you with bottle-rocket intensity. Listening requires attention. When you “listen” to your feelings, deeply listen, and listen with compassion and curiosity, they lose some of their strength.

Self-discipline - self-control; doing what needs to be done regardless of your interest.

To be self-disciplined means focusing, staying focused, and remaining on task, regardless of your fondness for what you’re doing. To help you appreciate the importance of this concept, the opposite of self-discipline is impulsivity. When viewed through the lens of developmental psychology, an argument can be made that the primary difference between a healthy adolescent and a healthy adult is that the latter has an improved capability for delaying gratification. By contrast, it is more common for the younger person to be guided and misguided by short-term gratification. After all, it feels much better to do what you want first and maybe get to what you don’t want to do later. Think about what happens in your mind when given the choice of playing a video game or doing your homework, and it’s math. Nearly every time, hands down, the game wins.

Tenacity - perseverance & grit; continuing to do what needs to be done.

Finally, there’s tenacity. This word is a bit more uncommon than its two companions, but it’s an essential piece of the triad that gives you a fighting chance when dealing with life’s difficult times. Think of tenacity as the psychic gasoline inside you that keeps you moving, even when you’re facing an uphill climb. If someone calls you tenacious, thank them because you don’t give up and, even more importantly, never stop trying and giving it your all. Your tenacity keeps you moving toward the finish line despite your monkey brain preferring to swing in a nearby tree or sit down and munch on a bunch of bananas.

To learn more about the triad of resilience, self-discipline, and tenacity and how they complement each other, consider visiting the website of Dr. Sam Goldstein, Ph.D., a gifted speaker and insightful author. His website contains hidden gems and discussions about topics that matter to many.

Press the button below to learn more about how your mind works as described in Dr. Zierk’s book, Mind Rules: Who’s in Control, You or Your Mind?